i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
