Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
