You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
