I just pynch a tree in the face
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
