I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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