I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
