Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
