You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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