we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Panties = found
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize