So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
