i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
