I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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