So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
