she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I need moral support for this bender
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
