Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
