im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize