hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
