Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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