So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
