so explain again why im purple
no
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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