4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
