chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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