so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize