i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
