Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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