wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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