Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
