Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize