im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
