I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
