the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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