I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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