Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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