i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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