the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
