I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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