Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
