Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
