why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
