so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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