rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
