i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
