Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize