Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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