This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize