remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize