We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hippo gnu deer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
