Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
