You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
