Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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