Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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