sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
