It's like God shit irony all over that family
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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