You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just cropdusted the office
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
