I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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