After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
