wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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