i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize