normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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