Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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