i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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