he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
