just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
MIDGETS
????
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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