So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
