the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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