he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
