What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he puts the penis in happiness.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
