I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
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I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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