I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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