I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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