I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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