when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Buhtt sex?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
