PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
