fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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