tell your sister to shave her snatch
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's never too late to be topless.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
